DO ask for help - DO NOT try to do it all yourself

I learned late that I needed to actually ask for help more often. I tried to do too much myself and ended up sacrificing when perhaps I may not have had to do so.

From time to time I would ask for advice and I did frequently discuss things with my brother (who lives in another state) but as far as asking for active help, I was not good about doing that. There were a few times that I realized I could not do it all but in hindsight, not enough times.

I will never forget a time when I did ask for help. My dad was in the hospital for the second time within a week. I felt like I was not getting the answers I needed regarding my dad's care (my mom was not doing very well herself and she was at the assisted living) and prognosis so I called my uncle (my dad's younger brother). I asked him if he would meet me at the hospital and talk to the doctors with me.

I arrived at the hospital first. I walked into my dad's room. His eyes were rolled back into his head. It was painful to see so I left the room crying. A nurse led me into a consultation room to wait for my uncle.

When my uncle arrived a doctor came in to talk to us. We asked him questions about how my dad was doing (do not remember details), about his prognosis (uncertain) and what the next step might be. At that moment, I still believed that he was either going to return to the assisted living to be with my mom or be transferred to a rehab facility to regain his strength.

A little bit later my cousin came into the room. She saw the doctor and ask him what it meant when someone was in V-Tach. The doctor ran out of the room then into my dad's room. A few short moments later the doctor told us we needed to go into my dad's room.

My dad had passed away. I saw him twitch a little and I had a glimmer of hope that he was not gone but I was wrong. Dad had passed away on November 9, 2005.

There must have been a reason I had asked my uncle for help that day. It was so that he would be there when I needed him right after the passing of my dad (his brother).

That day I had not been afraid to ask for help and I am so grateful I did. I am so thankful that I did not have to go through that moment alone. My uncle and my cousin were there to comfort me.