Commuication

Throughout life COMMUNICATION is so very important. Communication has many facets. To truly communicate you have to be able to know how to express yourself (this include choose your words careful - say what you mean and mean what you say) but you also need to know how to listen. You may hear the words but are you truly listening? You listen with more senses than just your ears - you may have to use your eyes, your heart, your mind, your soul and/or your experience. You need to know when to respond, when to ask question, when to help and when to be silent. Well.....sometimes your silence is actual silence while other times it is merely an acknowledgment that you are listening.

Anyway, through the process of CARING FOR YOUR PARENTS it is very important that you not only keep the lines of communication open with your parents but also with other family members.

Just because one (or perhaps more) person may take the lead or be more readily available to care for your parents this does not necessarily mean that you should take on the responsibility or burden of all decisions and/or all discussions.

Before making a decision regarding your parents, make sure you discuss the situation with other family members before actually making the decisions. This will save time and heart ache later on.

For example, when each of my parents were very sick, I always discussed their situation with my brother (even though he lived many miles away). I had was here with them and I had the legal powers but I felt I should still communicate with him regarding OUR parents. I felt this took some of the pressure and stress off of me as well as kept him informed.

I had the advantages and disadvantages of living nearby. I had the advantage of being able to see them often but had the disadvantage of having to see (firsthand) their health decline. It was very painful to watch. I had the disadvantage of seeing them immediate when they passed but also had the advantage of being able to be with them as they passed.

Anyway, my brother was not able to be here due to his own family obligations (at one point his wife was in the hospital) so I wanted to help him through those times. I know how I deal with guilt even though I might not have any reason to feel guilty so I wanted to help ease guilt he may have had (he could not be in two places at one time - he was where he needed to be at the time). I wanted him to feel a part of the process. This is where communication was helpful for all of us. It helped us to have someone to share with and get support from. It also helped with the healing process.

Communication - it is not over rated.